I spent most of my teaching day yesterday trying to convince myself that I had everything under control. That I was an island of calm.
When I did get mad, the kids laughed at me. One boy laughed so hard he had to gain control of his own self in the hallway.
It is pretty funny when I get mad, all red in the face, all loud in the voice -- but there's certainly no control involved. And it's no way to start the year.
Even though I'm not having so much luck controlling them, nor do I want to be a soldier of the institution as Lee has me convinced we all are, I'm NOT giving up on controlling my own reactions to them. It's all I've got.
So when I finally had their attention and was reading to them from the novel Double Dutch, I wasn't feeling too badly about the "your mama" jokes they were collecting from the story. When they tell each other later that "Your mama is so dumb she gets tangled up in the cordless phone," I'm not gonna care.
Besides, that's pretty funny, and trust me, I have larger issues to worry about.
3 comments:
I think you should come to my school.
I too am funny when I'm mad. It's a very unsucessful emotion for me.
I get angry and then i feel guilty about it. i try to remember that i'm a human being and the next day i just try to start again being more careful with myself and others. It's all very tricky stuff. R read that Double Dutch book and really liked it.
I like the fact that your link to the "island of calm" is about a baseball player. hilarious ...
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