I don't really have a feeling about that number. Doesn't feel like much of a turning point.
Deciding it would be a good idea to take on a new challenge for the new year anyway, I talked best GF, Jodi, into taking a swimming lesson with me. Together, we could swim away the winter woes and all would be swell.
We met at the pool yesterday in matching blue suits (not planned) and instructor Margaret had us plop into the shallow end. "What would you like to learn?" she asked. "Front crawl," I replied confidently. "We want to be able to swim laps."
It didn't take long for me to remember why I can't already do the front crawl: I panic underwater.
Coordinating the breathing and the strokes and the kicking and the keeping of a straight line -- how does anyone do this? Actually, I could have asked Jodi for the answer to this question because she was moving along like a torpedo while I coughed and spittled after every second stroke. And even though my panic made me forget them all the instant my face went under, Margaret kept giving pointers. "Breathe in and out slowly. Count your strokes. Keep your ear in the water," she said. But even louder, my body told me, "THIS IS NOT NATURAL."
After taking in my fifth gallon of water, I did it. I gave up. Just like that. I looked at Margaret and said calmly, "I can't swim. I can't do this." She knew I meant it and didn't ask me to try again. More importantly, she didn't say a real coachy thing like, "You can if you put your mind to it!" She had seen my sorry attempts, after all.
So, I didn't learn to swim yesterday. Perhaps it's a bad omen for my 31st year, but I prefer to look at it this way:
Every now and then, it feels really GOOD to give up. For once, under all the stress of teaching, writing a thesis, and owning a home, I could admit, with certainty, I can't. Someday, maybe, I'll try again, but for now, I don't have to, I don't want to learn one. more. thing. I can't.
And I know that I will still move forward as a 31-year-old woman -- I'll just be doing it on dry land.
7 comments:
Happy Birthday!
Although I can swim, I don't enjoy it so much because of that same panic...even just that moment of not being able to breath, makes the whole idea of swimming laps unenjoyable to me. I'd rather run.
i didn't like swimming at first, but now i do; however, there are other things to do.
like walk and run and eat quiche at cupcake!
fun to see you today -- happy birthday!!
Yes, Happy Birthday, you little landlubber you! Much love,lee
We are afflicted with the same inlander curse. While I'm doing all those things coach tells me, I still, while under water, have only thought: I CAN'T BREATHE.
I don't think chlorinated water is "legal" on my diet. Man oh man! I consumed a lot of it, too!
Happy Birthday - 31 is going to ROCK!
Happy Belated Birthday! 31 is only 29 years old with 2 years experience, so it really feels great!
I stumbled upon your blog site, and have to say, I sure miss talking with you! I love your subtle humor ;o) Hope you are doing well, and hope to see you at Christmas!
Your Cousin,
Trisha
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