It's not uncommon for my book club to have to change our meeting date two or three times over e-mail. I initiated the change this time around. What is uncommon, though, is that I accidentally sent the message to a girlfriend from college that I haven't been in touch with for over a year. She makes me laugh more than anyone I know, and not only did this auspicious mistake (one that left approximately fourteen replies in her inbox) give us a chance to catch up, but it also turned out to be just what I needed. I shared with T the fact that I had recently been dumped and am wondering why the hell I bother with men. And although I don't technically have permission to share her response, I think that such brilliance must be spread. Here's a small gem of her broad wisdom:
the only GUYS worth anything are the ones with very strong morals. the occurrence of finding men with morals is increasingly rare and is almost always paired with major major mother issues. the "keepers" (BETWIXT AGES 90 and 112 in the u.s.) are the ones that have 3 or more sisters. of course, people are having fewer children, so i mentally weep pretty much daily for the next generation of women.
All single women are doomed, I am sure. But the prospect of navigating the world as a single woman is not quite so daunting as long as I have girlfriends like this. When I am paying attention, or NOT paying attention, as was the case this time, the right people with all of the right words come along at the right time. And when I have people in my life so willing to give, it is hard to spend another moment feeling sorry for my losses.
8 comments:
good advice from college friend to share with all your single buds...
'preciate it
k
I probably should have had more kids, for my son's sake, but I just couldn't do it. At least he has one sister who seems actively involved in shaping his personality 24/7, so that's good. I really want him to be a good boyfriend some day to somebody.
There is a book titled "The Art of Loving" by Erich Fromm. For me this book had insights that I never thought of before.
lh -- Q is going to be just fine. R will definitely keep him on track.
i suppose shef will be a total freak if he's an only child? (we're not sleeping again these days, so we're back to discussing the unlikelihood of another baby. we mostly only discuss this in the wee hours.)
great to see you saturday!!
I agree that the date-worthy men must have at least two sisters and a good relationship with their mothers - not the cut-the-umbilical-cord relationship but a friendship with their mothers. Does it count that mine has a sister and a gay brother? I think so.
Jdoc, I'm really glad you have friends that make life's lessons seem a little less harsh.
I like to think the fact that my bro turned out like he did is a direct result of all the quality time he spent with my mother and I. He admits to being a feminist partly because of all the hours he spent on shopping trips and other estrogen-laden time with us. You can certainly tell when guys grew up around all boys or when they grew up with women.
Okay. Some of you need to introduce me to your brothers. I haven't given up in the search, just needed to be bitter for a few days. All part of the process.
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