Performing

Being a student has never felt more like a job than it does now. That's good and bad. I got into graduate school again because there are things I want to learn, ways I want to grow and challenge myself, but the message so far has been that everything I do is a resume building move. Today my advisor talked about how I need to think about marketing myself and that the decisions I make now will determine the kind of work I do later. Assignments never used to carry quite so much weight beyond earning a grade. Now I need to consider how each assignment fits into the larger identity of me as a scholar and researcher. Yikes. Sure, assignments are more meaningful and worthwhile this way, but they carry more pressure as well. I've managed to play the green, naive newcomer for the past for four weeks, but I'm feeling a bit like I've worn out that role. Which is fine. I wasn't all that crazy about it anyway.