I am a sweater. Not like an argyle, but like this:
And I'm not kidding when I say that I've had sweat patches that could rival those in this picture.
Some of you may have noticed this problem. How can you not? But it's also possible that I've taken the right precautions over the years to hide this embarrassing quality. For example, I tend to keep my arms down and wear black in almost all presentation situations. This includes teaching. And since I am a teacher by profession, this really limits the variety in my wardrobe. Light blue cotton button-down? No way. Fitted top? Can't do it. Unless of course these items are in black.
It's not just presentation situations that ignite the waterworks. Sometimes I've pitted out before I've even left the house. In the winter.
Sure, I've considered and tried a number of options to remedy this problem. Clinical strength deodorant? Deep breathing exercises? Air-conditioned rooms? A concerted effort to simply not sweat? So far none of this has worked.
Instead, I've accepted this problem. It's my lot in life. One that I'm pretty sure was passed down from my Grandma D. That woman is a faucet. And when I look on the bright side, I can feel good about releasing gallons of possible toxins from my body. Please, let's all try to think of it this way. If I can't change my body chemistry, maybe we could all work on embracing the pit-stain as part of a new eco-fashion movement. Perhaps it's a stretch, but it's all I've got.
9 comments:
I'm a sweater too! I hate that I ruin clothes after one season. Ugh. I'm having total anxiety about what to wear to my defense.
Sorry,
Ddoc
KK, I've never noticed! Good work.
Dad, I also got your good sense of humor, so I can't really complain.
I hear ya jdoc, it's no fun. I remember getting to my college classes in winter and was the only one soaked in sweat. I've starting wearing a tank top under all tops. While it may make me warmer, the tank top underneath soaks up most of the sweat before it's visible.
I've definitely pitted out for presentations and teaching, so I sympathize. I'm wounding: do you get bitten a lot by Mosquitos?
Good tip, cdoc. That does seem to work on occasion.
I don't get bitten by a lot of mosquitos, KC. Not more than my share at least. Do you think the sweating would increase that?
I didn't used to sweat so much, and then i became perimenopausal and my estrogen is not up to snuff. And so now I'm always sweating in pretty bad ways. Not sure if the black shirt would help because it's usually my whole head that's sweating. But now I'm on some birth control estrogen and it's really helping. I love having my estrogen back. Hail, Estrogen!
Yeah, I meant "Wondering." My device filled in the spelling for me and I didn't notice.
My experience is that sweaters get bitten more, but you don't! I'm glad about that.
HEY I'm a sweater and I do get bit by mosquitos more ... MUCH more than usual. And I think I sweat more than JDoc. Yeah, thanks Papa.
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