35 Years

Happy Anniversary, Mom and Dad.

Keep dancing.

Living Alone

As much as I need a roommate for financial reasons, I must say that I have been appreciating my time alone here at casa de doc. Plus, I've taken on new habits certain to annoy any cohabitant. For starters, to save money in this heat, I've unplugged all minor appliances. Microwave. TV. Stereo. Lamps. Even though the dryer is plugged in, I haven't used it for weeks and instead, I hang my wet clothes over every door handle, chair, and railing in the place. I've also darkened all windows with blankets and run only the ceiling fans instead of the air conditioner for all but about three hours of the day. Since that makes it relatively warm in here, clothing has become optional. And in a dark, quiet house where any small movement makes you sweat, why be awake anyway? So, I nap for a couple of hours each afternoon.

The best news of all is that I think I found someone to live with me. She can't move in until September, so I'll have at least one more month of doing whatever the hell I want in MY house.

Passing Judgment

I really need a roommate for the fall and the prospects are grim. Here's the score card:

Turned Me Down:
1. Young professional female who had to move because roommate is getting married and only needs temporary housing because she wants to travel the world starting in January.
2. Young professional male starting a job in public television. Prefers to live with women because they are clean, like him.
3. Young teacher with certification in middle school language arts beginning her first teaching job this fall.
4. Anyone who has seen the house.

Shown Overwhelming Interest:
1. Father of two who needs someone flexible enough to let his two children stay with him when it is his weekend ON.
2. Older woman who left an eleven-year abusive relationship even though she did keep her married name because her maiden one was just too hard for anyone to spell and who likes living with her aunt but thinks it's time to get out on her own even though she can't find a job in early childhood education because of the requirement differences between California and Minnesota and what do I think about all of that?
3. Even older male who is moderately disabled and needs space for his service dog as well, but we can't meet until after the heat passes because he can't really go out in the sun.
4. Anyone who has NOT YET seen the house.

I'm beginning to think that I should have tackled those painting and home improvements projects that I meant to complete by now. Can't anyone see potential anymore?

The Training: Week Eight

I had, perhaps, the best run of my life last Sunday. Twelve and a half miles at a solid pace and two more miles on top of that at an even faster trot. I don't know what got into me, but let's all remember that run for posterity sake when I declare, with tears streaming down my face, "I can't do it! I can't take another step!" It's out there. Just waiting for me.

Careful What You Wish For

Remember how I said I'd do the prep work and procedure all over again if I could miss a day of summer school next week too?

I take it back. I take it aaaall back.

Unfortunately, it's too late for that as the doc today recommended a barium enema and x-ray of the rest of my colon -- which requires TWO days of prep work slightly more unbearable than the prep work described below.

On the plus side, the inside of my colon is clear, clean, and lovely.

I Exaggerate . . . A Little

Earlier today I began prep work for my very own flexible sigmoidoscopy. This prep work requires that I eat a full liquid lunch, eat a full liquid dinner, fast after 5 p.m., drink ridiculous volumes of clear fluid, down 10 oz. of magnesium citrate before 6 p.m., visit the bathroom innumerable times expelling my liquid meals due to the magnesium citrate, stay up through the night due to such visits, and then give myself two enemas in the early hours of the morning before heading to the clinic where some folks will take a look around my colon.

And if I could miss a day of teaching summer school next week too, I'd do it all over again.

Why I've Never Done This Before

It's official. Teaching summer school is a full time job. While student contact time is only three and a half hours, the actual time planning, preparing, teaching, assessing, and obsessing (recall: I haven't a clue what I'm doing) is about nine hours per day. This is really cramping my style.

Summer School

It started today. As much as I'd like to say that I'm teaching summer reading to help my struggling readers become more proficient and fluent, the fact is I'd rather be sleeping in and drinking coffee with my book each a.m. I can't complain too much because I have just four morning hours of work each day, but I can already predict that my days will in actuality be much longer. You see, I don't really know how to teach reading, which is what I've been assigned. Literature and writing, sure. But reading is a whole different ball game of strategies, decoding, and vocabulary. I'm not worried that I won't figure this out, it's just going to take a bigger chunk out of my summer days than I had anticipated. Luckily, I made it through the first day without anyone calling my bluff.

The Shits

I've been having some odd stomach problems lately. Actually, they've been going on for a few months now, and they crossed the line the other night after I ate half a pound of blueberries and then completed a ten-mile run. Sure, the cramping and moaning could certainly be related to such events, but those who care about me most helped me see a trend that has been present for a while now. So, yesterday I paid a visit to urgent care and collected all of the appropriate "samples." And yes. By "samples" I mean exactly what you are thinking.

Since nothing can be known until next week, I've been trying really hard to not freak myself out with the possibilities and have even managed to avoid Googling my symptoms. I did call just about everyone I know to solicit sympathy, however, and they did not disappoint. Becky is very sorry that I have to go through this crap; Jodi promises to be my side no matter how it all comes out; and my mother, the calm in every storm of my life, promises that even though this is really the shits, I'll get through it.

Lessons Learned Over the Weekend

1) Never play lawn sports. There's nothing worse than being really bad at something that's supposed to be fun;

2) You only have to fall hard three times before realizing why skis come in pairs. That fourth fall is unnecessary and remarkably painful;

3) When sharing a room with someone, really bad gas is pretty much standard; and

4) If you start every day drinking coffee on the dock while dangling your toes in the water, all embarrassments from the previous day simply wash away.